Sex in marriage is not only for child bearing. It is a provision for relationship…it does not stop with child bearing, it does not cease with growth. While the frequency may reduce with old age, it does not really stop “till death do us part.” It may take different forms as couples grow and advance in years; but it remains a permanent means of communion between a man and his wife. Family planning should be used when necessary so as not to break the sexual communion just for the fear of unwanted pregnancy. It should be mutually discussed. Be considerate concerning each other’s needs in your choice of family planning [FP] method. Seek counsel of the relevant resource person in this area if need be.
Le me affirm at this point that your marriage is much more than the sexual intercourse. Without it your marriage is as valid and can fulfill the purpose of God. Marriage is a total and complete in God’s plan, even if there is a deformity in a partner that makes the sexual intercourse difficult or impossible. Accident that may cause a permanent, irreparable damage on the genitals of a partner need not jeopardize their matrimony. You marry a person, not his sexual organ. Such couples need to see the purpose of God in their marriage over and above the enjoyment of sex. Marriage actually can take place and it is as honorable, even when the other partner is sexually unresponsive.
However, this needs to be openly discussed with each other before getting into marital commitment [if any of the partners is aware of such deformity.] If it occurs only after you are joined together in marriage, there is no need looking back. Understand with each other and explore the ways in which your relationship can bring satisfaction despite that. In this case, tactical romance may be useful at least to create a kind of satisfaction for the other partner.
These difficulties are not sufficient reasons for breaking the matrimony. Sex outside that matrimony is still sin [Heb.13:4]. Every sexual expression outside your marriage is a sin and it robs you of a deep walk with God. Barrenness and miscarriages are not tenable reasons for divorce either. Fellowship, companionship, and laboring together to fulfill God’s vision for your lives are still the more authentic goals of marriage.
Other questions of the posture, the process of making love itself will not be dealt with here. The rule is whatever is convenient and comfortable for both of you. Consideration and love for each other is the matter here. No particular style is the sacred one. The relationship is much more the focus than the act itself. Pregnancy does not really prevent sex. It is rather the discomfort the wife undergoes that is consideration. Once the pregnancy gets stable, sex is not a problem.
Thursday, June 4, 2009
Sunday, May 31, 2009
SEXUAL INTIMACY
Some families are highly conservative on sexual issues; it is treated with utmost modesty and never discussed or mentioned. Some adults who came from such disciplined background sometimes encounters sex –related problems in marriage. This hang up should be discarded in marriage as they may hurt the marriage. Withholding sex from your partner is unbiblical, against God’s design, and plan for sex in marriage. Some grew up with personal discipline and conviction, they grew up chaste and sexually virtuous and this is carried over into their marriage. Even though this is laudable, they should prayerfully loosen- up. Sexual relationship between husband and wife is holy and proper.
Sex is one thing you can share only with each other. Do not expose your husband to unnecessary temptation by withholding it from him. Extra marital sex is sinful; remember your husband is a human being with blood running in his veins. If you do, you are exposing him to sin and may lead him to hell if he does, you will be held accountable to God.
Do not use sex as a weapon against him either no matter how upset you are with him, withholding your body will not solve the problem, it may drive him further away from you and aggravate the problem [1Cor.7:4-5]. The marriage bed is not a place to show propriety either, trying to show him that you are not promiscuous. Having sex with your husband is not promiscuous, be free and be yourself.
Your body belongs to him and his body belongs to you make conscious effort not to wear yourself out during the day, be mentally and physically prepared for your husband. In some cases, the husband sexually neglects the wife; his lack of interest may be due to many reasons, which could be physical, mental, or emotional. If there is no physical problem hindering him, he may be having deep feelings of failure, disappointments, depression, or hopelessness that needs to be addressed. Prayer can help reveal what the problem is and how to solve it. Do not let negative emotions like resentments, bitterness, self pity and unforgiveness build up in you, keep your self healthy and attractive.
Get special lingerie that you know he will like and get yourself spruced up. Surprise him with a new attitude. Sometimes sexual problems in marriage happen because of sexual experiences before the marriage or in the past. Pray to be set free of those memories no matter what occurred in either of your past.
Sex is one thing you can share only with each other. Do not expose your husband to unnecessary temptation by withholding it from him. Extra marital sex is sinful; remember your husband is a human being with blood running in his veins. If you do, you are exposing him to sin and may lead him to hell if he does, you will be held accountable to God.
Do not use sex as a weapon against him either no matter how upset you are with him, withholding your body will not solve the problem, it may drive him further away from you and aggravate the problem [1Cor.7:4-5]. The marriage bed is not a place to show propriety either, trying to show him that you are not promiscuous. Having sex with your husband is not promiscuous, be free and be yourself.
Your body belongs to him and his body belongs to you make conscious effort not to wear yourself out during the day, be mentally and physically prepared for your husband. In some cases, the husband sexually neglects the wife; his lack of interest may be due to many reasons, which could be physical, mental, or emotional. If there is no physical problem hindering him, he may be having deep feelings of failure, disappointments, depression, or hopelessness that needs to be addressed. Prayer can help reveal what the problem is and how to solve it. Do not let negative emotions like resentments, bitterness, self pity and unforgiveness build up in you, keep your self healthy and attractive.
Get special lingerie that you know he will like and get yourself spruced up. Surprise him with a new attitude. Sometimes sexual problems in marriage happen because of sexual experiences before the marriage or in the past. Pray to be set free of those memories no matter what occurred in either of your past.
Friday, May 15, 2009
DIVORCE IS EVIL
Marriage is a permanent and intimate bond between a man and his wife as long as they both alive.Gen.2v23-25; Matt.19v5-6; Rom.7v2.
As long as both of you are alive. No matter the m to understand this and pray for God’s intervention. Settle down with the bone of your bones. Ask God to help you develop an intimacy with each other so that God’s purpose may be achieved.As soon as a man and woman get married, God warns that no man should put them asunder. It is a permanent relationship, Are you married? Your partner is the bone of your bones and the flesh of your flesh. God deliberately made you incomplete so that your partner can fit into that loophole in your life to make whole and wholesome in order for the purpose of God to be achieved in your life. Marriage is a permanent relationship
Marriage is ordained to be separated only by death. It is only then that the partner is alive free to re-marry . Rom.7v2-3;Mal.2v16.
God emphatically says He hate putting away and for you to engage in an act hated by God is to set yourself against God. Marriage is a bond between a man and his wife as long as they live. It is never in the perfect will of God that they separate for whatever reason. God ordained that they should be an inseparable whole as long as they live. But if one partner dies, then the one that is alive is free from that bond. He or she is free to re-marry . Again we see from the scriptures God does not allow a man or a woman who has separated from his or her partner for any other reason apart from death to re-marry. If a woman does that while her husband is still lives, she is, and she shall be called an adulteress. And if a man marries another woman while his wife is still lives, he is an adulterer.
Marriage is ordained by God to be honored and regarded by all. Marriage is honorable is in all.Heb.13v4[NIV,KJV].
God commanded it to be so. He does not deal kindly with anyone that tries to dishonor it whether you are an outsider or a partner in that marriage. As a married person you should honor your marriage and you must not, in any way, dishonor another person’s marriage either. As soon as you are you are married, God honors that relationship. It makes no difference whether you where an unbeliever when you got married or not, whether you had a traditional wedding or a church wedding, you are to regard that marriage in honor. But whoremongers and adulterers God shall judge. The fact that you got married as an unbeliever is not a guarantee that you can misbehave or separate from your partner and re-marry now that you are born again. If you are having problems in the marriage, it is better to take it to the Lord. The maker, and the manufacturer of marriage, He will make it right and turn your situation around.As children of God, marriage with unbelievers is forbidden. Marriage with an unbeliever is an unequal yoking. A believer is an unequal to an unbeliever. They are not equal at all. And for them to be yoked together in marriage, they are only going to look for trouble. Light and darkness are not equal. Both are mutually exclusive. A believer is a son; an unbeliever is a dog.’Matt.15v22-26]. Imagine a marriage between the two, in the first place they are of different species and nature. Their language and perception are not the same. There will always be quarrel and disagreements between them. The foundation for a sound, healthy and God glorifying relationship in the home is a thorough understanding implication of “the two shall become one flesh” as the scriptural definition of marriage .
As long as both of you are alive. No matter the m to understand this and pray for God’s intervention. Settle down with the bone of your bones. Ask God to help you develop an intimacy with each other so that God’s purpose may be achieved.As soon as a man and woman get married, God warns that no man should put them asunder. It is a permanent relationship, Are you married? Your partner is the bone of your bones and the flesh of your flesh. God deliberately made you incomplete so that your partner can fit into that loophole in your life to make whole and wholesome in order for the purpose of God to be achieved in your life. Marriage is a permanent relationship
Marriage is ordained to be separated only by death. It is only then that the partner is alive free to re-marry . Rom.7v2-3;Mal.2v16.
God emphatically says He hate putting away and for you to engage in an act hated by God is to set yourself against God. Marriage is a bond between a man and his wife as long as they live. It is never in the perfect will of God that they separate for whatever reason. God ordained that they should be an inseparable whole as long as they live. But if one partner dies, then the one that is alive is free from that bond. He or she is free to re-marry . Again we see from the scriptures God does not allow a man or a woman who has separated from his or her partner for any other reason apart from death to re-marry. If a woman does that while her husband is still lives, she is, and she shall be called an adulteress. And if a man marries another woman while his wife is still lives, he is an adulterer.
Marriage is ordained by God to be honored and regarded by all. Marriage is honorable is in all.Heb.13v4[NIV,KJV].
God commanded it to be so. He does not deal kindly with anyone that tries to dishonor it whether you are an outsider or a partner in that marriage. As a married person you should honor your marriage and you must not, in any way, dishonor another person’s marriage either. As soon as you are you are married, God honors that relationship. It makes no difference whether you where an unbeliever when you got married or not, whether you had a traditional wedding or a church wedding, you are to regard that marriage in honor. But whoremongers and adulterers God shall judge. The fact that you got married as an unbeliever is not a guarantee that you can misbehave or separate from your partner and re-marry now that you are born again. If you are having problems in the marriage, it is better to take it to the Lord. The maker, and the manufacturer of marriage, He will make it right and turn your situation around.As children of God, marriage with unbelievers is forbidden. Marriage with an unbeliever is an unequal yoking. A believer is an unequal to an unbeliever. They are not equal at all. And for them to be yoked together in marriage, they are only going to look for trouble. Light and darkness are not equal. Both are mutually exclusive. A believer is a son; an unbeliever is a dog.’Matt.15v22-26]. Imagine a marriage between the two, in the first place they are of different species and nature. Their language and perception are not the same. There will always be quarrel and disagreements between them. The foundation for a sound, healthy and God glorifying relationship in the home is a thorough understanding implication of “the two shall become one flesh” as the scriptural definition of marriage .
Saturday, May 9, 2009
Tuesday, May 5, 2009
THE PURPOSE OF MARRIAGE
When the purpose of a thing is known then it will be appreciated. When you know the purpose of marriage you will begin to appreciate marriage.[Eccl.1v1-3]Whatever God has purpose is for gain.
1. It is to provide suitable, adequate and perfect help to meet the need of the man. A help meet is somebody who will stand to help him accomplish is assignment on earth.[Gen.2v18-21,Eccl.4v9-12]the purpose is that God what life better for the man.
2. It is for spiritual reinforcement [josh.23v10, Deut.32v30] when you get married the force against the enemy will strong and effective [Prov.27v17]reinforcement means to give added strength. spiritual strength is to add God strength.[matt.18v19]
3. It is for companionship and fellowship.[Gen.2v18]Husband and wife are meant to be friends, lovers and companions.
4. It is for unity ie one mind ,purpose[matt.19v5]where there is no unity of purpose thing will not workout well.[Gen.2v24,Mk.10v7,Amos.3v3,Ps.133v3]
5. It is for pro-creation [childbearing]it is the only heavenly ordained way of producing or having children.[Gen.1v28,1Tim.5v14]DON’T ALLOW YOUR HOME TO BREAK SO YOU WOULDN’T BREAK YOUR CHILDREN.
6. It is to avoid fornication or immorality [1Cor.7v2, 1Cor.v9] Sex is not a sin. It is sin when done outside marriage. it is permitted only in marriage. Money is not evil but the love for money.
If you are married enjoy sex. Some men can not satisfy their wife sexually while because they are not taught how to approach their spouse.
1. It is to provide suitable, adequate and perfect help to meet the need of the man. A help meet is somebody who will stand to help him accomplish is assignment on earth.[Gen.2v18-21,Eccl.4v9-12]the purpose is that God what life better for the man.
2. It is for spiritual reinforcement [josh.23v10, Deut.32v30] when you get married the force against the enemy will strong and effective [Prov.27v17]reinforcement means to give added strength. spiritual strength is to add God strength.[matt.18v19]
3. It is for companionship and fellowship.[Gen.2v18]Husband and wife are meant to be friends, lovers and companions.
4. It is for unity ie one mind ,purpose[matt.19v5]where there is no unity of purpose thing will not workout well.[Gen.2v24,Mk.10v7,Amos.3v3,Ps.133v3]
5. It is for pro-creation [childbearing]it is the only heavenly ordained way of producing or having children.[Gen.1v28,1Tim.5v14]DON’T ALLOW YOUR HOME TO BREAK SO YOU WOULDN’T BREAK YOUR CHILDREN.
6. It is to avoid fornication or immorality [1Cor.7v2, 1Cor.v9] Sex is not a sin. It is sin when done outside marriage. it is permitted only in marriage. Money is not evil but the love for money.
If you are married enjoy sex. Some men can not satisfy their wife sexually while because they are not taught how to approach their spouse.
Saturday, April 25, 2009
I HATE DIVORCE: THE MOST IDEAL MARRAIGE
I HATE DIVORCE: THE MOST IDEAL MARRAIGEhttp:/www.ezinearticles.com
WHAT IS MARRIAGE?
Marriage is defined according to Cambridge International Dictionary of English as “a legally accepted relationship between a woman and a man in which they live as husband and wife or the official ceremony which result in this”. It is true but I will like to say that marriage is God’s premeditated and calculated divine institution designed to form a permanent union between one man and one woman as husband and wife. Gen.2v18-24.
Marriage is a relationship between two persons who are married. Those joined together as husband and wife by customary law or by the church. There must be witnesses. Marriage is a covenant [Mal.2v14] . When you enter into legal marriage, you enter into a covenant; marriage is covenant with God on one side and husband and wife on the other side. It is a legal contract between husband and wife that must be witnessed by other people or parties. Marriage is a way of life, until you are married as a man; you are not a man yet. Marriage is good, don’t disqualify what God has qualified, marriage first than family follows Gen 4v25.
God designed marriage to be heaven on earth; it is not if it is yet in heaven that does not mean you cannot have heaven on earth marriage. Real life is not on the outside but it is on the inside. CHRIST MAKES THE DIFFERENCE.
Marriage is a relationship between two persons who are married. Those joined together as husband and wife by customary law or by the church. There must be witnesses. Marriage is a covenant [Mal.2v14] . When you enter into legal marriage, you enter into a covenant; marriage is covenant with God on one side and husband and wife on the other side. It is a legal contract between husband and wife that must be witnessed by other people or parties. Marriage is a way of life, until you are married as a man; you are not a man yet. Marriage is good, don’t disqualify what God has qualified, marriage first than family follows Gen 4v25.
God designed marriage to be heaven on earth; it is not if it is yet in heaven that does not mean you cannot have heaven on earth marriage. Real life is not on the outside but it is on the inside. CHRIST MAKES THE DIFFERENCE.
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
UNDERSTANDING GOD'S PURPOSE FOR MARRAIGE
Many years ago ,Dr.Myles Monroe made a statement of truth which says ‘’Every time purpose is not known ,abuse is inevitable.’’ That is, if a man does not know the purpose of a child or wife, it results in child abuse or wife abuse as the case may be. It is possible to abuse what ever is put in your hands if you do not know why it was put in your hands.
We must first under stand the purpose of marriage which was instituted by God our father the creator of all things. The disagreements’ which lead to divorce in most cases is an abuse to the purpose of God ordained marriage.
Marriage is universal phenomenon in every society. It is for all class of people regardless of their race or religion. Marriage was solely God’s idea. It was God who saw the need for it and the thought of it came from His unfathomable wisdom.
Man didn’t suggest it to God, the man God created was busy with his assignment of “keep and dress the garden”, man was to multiply and fill the earth, rule and put it under control. He was also expected to keep and dress the garden and to name all the beast of the field and the birds of the air.
This was a great task and an enormous work, even at that man never complained. Let me say here, ASSIGNMENT comes before marriage. An unemployed man should not go into marriage without first of all settling the issue of employment. The scripture is very clear concerning this.
‘if anyone does not provide for his relatives and especially for his immediate family, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever’1tim.5v8.
Man was busy with his assignment when God saw the need for him to have is own suitable companion. God saw that it was no longer good for man to be alone. He made a ‘help’ uniquely suitable for him. God made a complete match for the man He made.Gen.2v18-24.
Marriage is not a sign of wealth, it is not only to satisfy sexual desires, it is not a means of getting a cook or steward, it is not to fulfill traditional or cultural obligation. it is not a necessary evil. it was ordained by God for the purpose of enjoyment. Some have limited marriage as a means of bearing children; while others see it as a means for pleasure; and some view it as a hindrance to personal freedom. What we see in all these issues raised is that man does not know how to tap into the resources that marriage holds as God ordained it from the beginning. Most people have abandoned their homes, as it appears impossible to them, some choose to remain single as a means to avoid trouble as they believe that marriage comes with a lot of trouble. Many have dissolve their marital vows and sued for divorce as a means of running away from marriage which they believe can never work.
Every marriage has what it takes to make it work.
The social vices we see today, in this modern age is as a result of failures in marriages. The basis of every society is the family. The people we see in from all works of life are from various homes. Every decay in every society is first and foremost an attack on the family. That is why we must understand the purpose of marriage.
WHAT IS MARRIAGE?
Marriage is defined according to Cambridge International Dictionary of English as “a legally accepted relationship between a woman and a man in which they live as husband and wife or the official ceremony which result in this”. It is true but I will like to say that marriage is God’s premeditated and calculated divine institution designed to form a permanent union between one man and one woman as husband and wife. Gen.2v18-24.
We must first under stand the purpose of marriage which was instituted by God our father the creator of all things. The disagreements’ which lead to divorce in most cases is an abuse to the purpose of God ordained marriage.
Marriage is universal phenomenon in every society. It is for all class of people regardless of their race or religion. Marriage was solely God’s idea. It was God who saw the need for it and the thought of it came from His unfathomable wisdom.
Man didn’t suggest it to God, the man God created was busy with his assignment of “keep and dress the garden”, man was to multiply and fill the earth, rule and put it under control. He was also expected to keep and dress the garden and to name all the beast of the field and the birds of the air.
This was a great task and an enormous work, even at that man never complained. Let me say here, ASSIGNMENT comes before marriage. An unemployed man should not go into marriage without first of all settling the issue of employment. The scripture is very clear concerning this.
‘if anyone does not provide for his relatives and especially for his immediate family, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever’1tim.5v8.
Man was busy with his assignment when God saw the need for him to have is own suitable companion. God saw that it was no longer good for man to be alone. He made a ‘help’ uniquely suitable for him. God made a complete match for the man He made.Gen.2v18-24.
Marriage is not a sign of wealth, it is not only to satisfy sexual desires, it is not a means of getting a cook or steward, it is not to fulfill traditional or cultural obligation. it is not a necessary evil. it was ordained by God for the purpose of enjoyment. Some have limited marriage as a means of bearing children; while others see it as a means for pleasure; and some view it as a hindrance to personal freedom. What we see in all these issues raised is that man does not know how to tap into the resources that marriage holds as God ordained it from the beginning. Most people have abandoned their homes, as it appears impossible to them, some choose to remain single as a means to avoid trouble as they believe that marriage comes with a lot of trouble. Many have dissolve their marital vows and sued for divorce as a means of running away from marriage which they believe can never work.
Every marriage has what it takes to make it work.
The social vices we see today, in this modern age is as a result of failures in marriages. The basis of every society is the family. The people we see in from all works of life are from various homes. Every decay in every society is first and foremost an attack on the family. That is why we must understand the purpose of marriage.
WHAT IS MARRIAGE?
Marriage is defined according to Cambridge International Dictionary of English as “a legally accepted relationship between a woman and a man in which they live as husband and wife or the official ceremony which result in this”. It is true but I will like to say that marriage is God’s premeditated and calculated divine institution designed to form a permanent union between one man and one woman as husband and wife. Gen.2v18-24.
Monday, April 13, 2009
Saturday, April 11, 2009
THE MOST IDEAL MARRAIGE
Eph.5:21-33
Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the Head of the Church, his body, of which he is the saviour. Now as the church as submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything…….
Many women and men also, are not happy in their maritial relationships, and are constantly in search of personal and marital fulfilment. But God did not create us and put us on this earth to live an apathetic, frustrated, defeated or discouraged life. He meant you to be happier than you ever dreamt possible Psalms 139:13-18.
Marriage was designed by God to give the greatest human happiness possible. This relationship is described in the scripture . The wife is to be subject , submissive, and adapt herself to her own husband as a service to the Lord. Every man without exception is to love his wife as his very own self. The role of the wife in a marital relationship is the choice role. The wife is to be loved, protected, and cherished by her husband in the same way Christ gave Himself for believers. She is to repond to her husband’s love, protection, and leadership unconditionally. Submission does not imprison, it liberates you, giving you the freedom to be creative under the protection of divinely appointed authority.
The world has done an effective job of distorting the marriage relationship and its respective roles and naïve women often feels unfulfilled . She seeks fulfillment by trying to change her role through such means as feminism or the women’s emacipation movement. She follows such idealogies thus putting “the cart before the horse.” It can only lead one way catastrophe! Her unhappiness is as a result of her failure to understand and fulfil the role God designed for her.
There is a saying that, woman was created from man, not from his head to be commanded by him, not from his feet to be his slave. Rather , she was taken from his side to compliment him, near his arms to be protected by him, and close to his heart to be loved. This is a saying. Submission is to be total.
God wants the husband and wife to be one. The bible says you are one flesh. He wants you to be in agreement, at peace with each other. God wants you to have a strong, stable and beautiful marriage. It is not by accident that He brought the two of you together . god has a plan for your marriage. He has a specific purpose for your marriage, a reason for you and your mate to be together. The two of you together have a specific place and purpose in the Body of Christ in order to fulfil His plans. God established the home before He established the church, until our homes come together, untill our marriages thrives, the church and indeed the soceity is always going to be hurting Eccelesiastes 4:9-10.
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